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Here’s Everything To Know About Domestic Discipline


The wife-spanking method of Domestic discipline is encouraged. However, many studies contend that giving men this kind of power in a marriage amounts to spousal abuse and can undermine the victim’s self-esteem and dignity.

Nevertheless, despite what its proponents claim, it is not biblically sound.

Here’s a closer look at how the behavior exemplifies domestic violence. Get more updates on chopnews

What is Domestic discipline?

Domestic Discipline

Domestic discipline, or what is also referred to as Christian domestic discipline, is a heterosexual marital lifestyle that encourages husbands—who are regarded as the head of the household or HoH—to punish their wives for errors or misbehavior.

Although spanking is the primary form of punishment in this kind of relationship, those who engage in the practice may also use other forms of punishment. One instance is making a partner stand in the corner during a time out.

They occasionally have to request permission from the HoH to carry out routine tasks like driving a car or going out with pals. Additionally, they frequently control the purse strings in addition to having total authority over all decisions.

Because of the practice’s very nature, the husband (or the HoH) has complete power and control over the marriage, and it also justifies physically abusing or spanking the wife (or the TiH, “taken in hand”).

Furthermore, spanking is humiliating, degrading, and upsetting in addition to being painful. These items may affect the wife’s identity and sense of self by conveying that she behaves like a child and has to be disciplined.

Domestic discipline conveys that she should be punished for misbehaving or failing to meet her husband’s standards. These ideas—that she deserved it or that she caused it herself—are consistent with what the majority of abusive spouses claim.

Most men and women utilize blogs, private community groups, and websites to obtain knowledge or to document their experiences because domestic discipline is regarded as a deviant behavioral approach to partnerships.

People who endorse the domestic discipline way of life frequently give troubling justifications for doing so, such as the conviction that the practice is scriptural and God-ordained.

However, the findings of the research about the practice frequently conflict with these views. Here is a summary of the striking discrepancy between what proponents of home discipline assert and what the research shows.

Claims of Domestic Discipline

  • Supported by the Bible
  • Grants the spouse control of the entire home.
  • Requires both parties to agree.
  • Teaches the wife to be obedient
  • Physical punishment for wife’s offenses

What the Research Says

  • Based on incorrect readings of the Bible
  • Doesn’t give relationships life
  • Is it abusive and possessive?
  • Undermines a marriage’s mutuality
  • Containing negative effects

Bible discipline in the home

Many Christian religious leaders disagree, despite the fact that advocates of domestic discipline claim that their way of life is inspired by the Bible.

People who enforce domestic discipline, for instance, frequently quote scripture that instructs wives to submit to their husbands.

However, religious authorities claim that they are misinterpreting the verse to support their attitudes and behaviors.

These defenses twist and abuse the ideas of headship and submit to maintain the subordination of women to men. Simply put, by couching their acts in religious terms, they are using scripture to defend physical and mental abuse of women.

It is crucial to note that nobody in the Bible ever experienced physical punishment from Jesus. The Bible also never implies that one spouse is more crucial than the other.

In actuality, many Christian denominations preach equality in partnerships or mutual submission.

Even in churches where submission is encouraged, it is emphasized that men must be prepared to give their lives in order to protect their wives, just as Christ did for the church.

According to Dr. Lisa Bahar, a psychology professor at Pepperdine University, a Christian university in California, and a registered marriage and family therapist, “my view of this verse is that wives would follow their husbands’ leadership in Christ.”

Christ asks husbands to serve their wives in the same way that he served his disciples by washing their feet, Dr. Bahar continues. “A wise and Christ-honoring husband will not spank his wife or otherwise physically assault her.

Are Abuse and Domestic Discipline similar

Recognizing that household discipline is abusive is crucial. In the relationship, one person has total authority over the other and resorts to physical violence to enforce that dominance.

Like in other abusive relationships, the victim in this situation has no control over what occurs and occasionally feels as though they are living on thin ice. The HoH has complete control over everything, including what their spouse wears and who they can speak to.

Even if their spouse is the primary provider of income, the abuser often has control over the finances and restricts them to an allowance. And the HoH feels justified in maintaining this control through the use of physical and verbal abuse.

In fact, a comparison of abuse symptoms with typical domestic disciplinary methods reveals that both use similar forms of power play. An outline of this comparison is given below.

Symptoms of Abuse

  • May resort to physical force as a management strategy
  • Isolates the partner from friends and family
  • Shows that there is a power disparity in the relationship
  • Threatens to use physical force in order to preserve control
  • Believes that the victim is to blame for the abuse or that it is justifiable
  • Carries out financial management
  • Denies that there was abuse or violence and contends that it was not as serious as the victim claims.

Family discipline

  • Spanking is used to uphold law and order.
  • Establishes guidelines for his wife’s social connections
  • Gives the HoH complete power
  • Threatens to spank everyone who disobeys the rules
  • Believes that punishment by spanking is suitable for errors or violating of rules
  • Has complete financial control
  • Maintains that this way of living is consensual and biblical, and denies that it is abusive.

How Relationships Become Firm

Domestic discipline is unclear to outsiders. It is difficult to see why anyone would condone this behavior. As a result, scientists have started researching what keeps people committed to this way of life.

In one study, researchers examined how male heads of households, their female partners, and the domestic discipline community employ tactics of neutralization to defend the practice of spanking wives using anonymous testimonies and publicly accessible websites.

As a result, they uncovered five methods for disguising or explaining their actions and behaviors. A call to higher allegiances, a denial of responsibility (entitlement), a denial of the victim (victim blaming), a denial of injury (justification), and a condemnation of those who oppose the practice were included in these five strategies.

Here is a summary of how they are employed to defend this abusive behavior.

Encourage Greater Loyalty

This tactic is used when perpetrators assert that they spanked the victim because of a bond they value more than the social norms of the time.

For instance, this tie may be based on their shared religious convictions, their understanding of what God expects of them, or their conviction that marriage is as God meant it to be.


Advocates of this way of life contend that the Bible provides men the right to spank their wives and use other forms of physical violence to correct them.

They contend that the HoH has an obligation to discipline his wife for the sake of the marriage and that domestic discipline is the natural course of events.

Blaming the victim

By employing this method, perpetrators can minimize their remorse while still feeling justified in hitting their spouse. The wife or victim is often blamed for deserve the violence in these circumstances.

The words “You had it coming” and “You should have known better” are frequently used while blaming.

In these circumstances, the perpetrator holds the victim responsible for the punishment she endures. The victim’s actions, how she violated the law, or what she ought to do better are the main points of discussion.

The severity of many domestic disciplinary situations makes even the smallest violations justification for punishment.


Even when the wife frequently receives severe spankings or other types of punishment that result in bruises or other injuries, these facts are frequently minimized as unimportant side effects of her bad behavior.

Some claim that the scarring and ongoing discomfort are essential for the stability of the marriage and what God would prefer.


This tactic is used by criminals to place the blame for their acts on people who don’t agree with them. They contend that society is tainted and that marriages are failing because of views that are incompatible with their own.

They contend that this way of living preserves marriages and that those who reject God’s commands on discipline will perish.