Joss Whedon is a beloved figure among geeks. From Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Serenity to The Avengers and more, Whedon has directed or written for several iconic genre-defining works. Unfortunately, Whedon’s personal life and behavior are coming back to haunt him despite his feminist image that he’s built for himself. Indeed, Joss Whedon ex-wife Kai Cole suggests these same behaviors played an integral part in why they divorced in the first place.
Joss Whedon EX-Wife Kai Cole
Joss Whedon and his former spouse Kai Cole were married from 1995 to 2016, though they divorced in 2012. Since then, Kai Cole has come forward with details regarding their relationship and the ways that Joss Whedon was unfaithful.
“There were times in our relationship that I felt uneasy about Joss’ attention to other women,” wrote Cole for The Wrap. “He always had a lot of female friends, but he told me it was because his mother raised him as a feminist so he just preferred women,” Cole concluded.
“I believed him and trusted him. On the set of Buffy, Joss decided to have his first secret affair.”
She went on to explain that Whedon later admitted having numerous affairs – both physical and emotional – throughout their marriage.
“Joss admitted that for the next decade and a half, he concealed multiple affairs as well as inappropriate emotional ones with his actresses, coworkers, fans, and friends while remaining married to me,” Kai Cole reported.
Kai Cole believes Joss Whedon hides behind an anti-feminist brand.
Actor Richard Jenkins and producers Joss Whedon and Kai Cole | Photographed by Michael Buckner/Getty Images for SXSW 2008.
Joss Whedon continued to tout himself as a progressive male feminist despite his multiple affairs and years of lying to Kai Cole. According to Cole, it appears he used their relationship as cover, building up what appeared to be an acceptable persona within society.
“Despite his knowledge that his actions were wrong, he never acknowledged the hypocrisy in advocating feminist ideals while simultaneously taking away my right to make choices about my life and body based on facts,” she wrote.
“He deceived me for 15 years, so he could have everything he desired. I believed, as did everyone else, that he was one of the good guys, dedicated to fighting for women’s rights, dedicated to our marriage, and committed to all the women he worked with.”
Kai Cole now views their relationship as more of a facade or cover that Joss Whedon used to hide behind.
“But now I understand how he used my relationship with him as a shield, both during and after our marriage,” Kai Cole revealed. “No one would question his relationships with other women or scrutinize his writing as anything other than feminist,” she warned.
Kai Cole issues a cautionary tale for other women:
Actor Alexis Denisof, actress Amy Acker, producer Kai Cole and director Joss Whedon | Sarjoun Faour
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Joss Whedon’s ex-wife wrote that she hoped her remarks on their marriage and Whedon’s behavior could serve as a cautionary tale for other women.
“It has not been an easy journey,” Kai Cole lamented, “even though in my personal life I have been completely honest about what happened, publicly people only know his superficial portrayal of us: him as the loving geek-feminist and me in the background as his spouse and supporter.”
“Until recently, Joss kept our marriage illusion alive. Now that it has become public knowledge, I want women to know that he is not who he claims to be,” she revealed.
“I want those who idolize him to remember that he is only human, and the organizations honoring him for his feminist work should think twice in the future about honoring a man who does not live up to what he preaches.”
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